In John’s Gospel (20:19:31), we see how the apostles were hiding in fear behind locked doors, fearful for their lives.  This all changes with a renewed hope, when Jesus appears to them with a message, “Peace be with you.”  The ten apostles have witnessed together their first encounter of the risen Christ, except for Thomas; who has not seen with his own eyes the risen Lord.

There is always one in every crowd.  You know that person who never believes, who will ask all the questions and never have the answer. They will shake their head in disbelief, unless they experience it with their own eyes. Doubt destroys more relationships, goals, dreams, and aspirations than any other human emotion. Doubt can be so strong it can affect our faith.  This is true today, as it was at the time of the apostles.

The definition of a “Doubting Thomas” is a skeptic who refuses to believe without direct evidence, knowledge, or experience. A reference to the Apostle Thomas, who refused to believe that the resurrected Jesus had appeared to the ten other apostles, unless “I see the mark of the nails in his hand and put the finger into the nail marks and put my hand into the side, I do not believe.”

Thomas was not a bad apostle.  He was a man who was grieving the loss of Jesus.  Any person who has experienced the loss of a loved one can testify how devastating death can be to the heart and soul of a person. Thomas was a man whose hopes, dreams, and love had been crushed.  Thomas believed in Jesus.  He answered the calling to “Come follow me.”  Thomas set his life by following Jesus.  Now, Jesus has been killed – even dying the death of a common criminal.

Thomas was a skeptic until Christ came and said, “Place your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it by my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.”  By placing his hands by his side, I can only imagine the fear of doubt was erased, the feeling of peace must have overwhelmed the soul of Thomas. His response, “My Lord and my God!” tells us Thomas recognized that Jesus is the Messiah.

We are all skeptics. I know I am a skeptic. We all close our feelings, emotions, and faith from time to time.  It is human nature to doubt.  How do we stop our inner voice of doubt?  In one word: TRUST.  Never doubt God’s plan for your life. Trust him when you do not understand. He will work it out.

St. Thomas, pray for us.

Bernard of Clairvaux

Empty but filled with faith

The week’s gospel brings us to the resurrection of Jesus Christ. As a Christian, this is my favorite time of the year. I use it to move a little closer to Jesus and work on my journey. I attempt to assess my life and see if I’m being a “good Christian.”  I look to see if I can be doing a better a job.  The answer is always a resounding yes!!!!   As I read this week’s gospel, I was moved by the thought of Mary Magdalene approaching the tomb of Jesus Christ.  In her mind, Jesus was dead and no longer with them. I ask myself, “How did that morning begin for her?” What filled her heart as she walked towards the tomb of Jesus? Was she filled with fear and confused why this ended as it did?  I wonder if she had any idea that she was about to discover one the most important moments in world history.  When Mary arrived at the tomb, she discovered that the stone covering it had been moved and Jesus was gone.  The tomb appeared to be empty.

Writing this marks the 3rd anniversary of the death of one of my son’s closest friends.  This was their only son. He was such a kind, loving person. His untimely death left my friend and her husband much like that tomb - empty.  I knew they searched for a reason.  I asked myself, “Why did they suffer such a painful loss?”   Losing a loved one (especially a child) is something that isn’t supposed to happen. Much like the death of Jesus; it should not have happeded, right?  We know now that Jesus died according to the plan he had for us and for our salvation. As a believer, I fall deeper in love with Jesus and what he did for us because it was perfect in every way. Jesus conquered death and that alone is enough for me; but it doesn’t stop there. He lived a sinless life and gave it up for us. Jesus lived 33 years sin free and sacrificed his perfect life for me. I’m lucky if I make 33 minutes without sinning.  I fall short often, but I know that Jesus’s plan for us is perfect. When my heart is heavy or I have questions about why things happen, I look at my cross.  When I have my challenges and I am filled with fear, I look at my cross. The cross reminds me of the resurrection and that Jesus only asks for us to have faith.  Faith in him and faith to know that his tomb was never empty it was filled with faith.

As we close out the Lenten Season, I ask you to look at your journey as a Christian. Have you done enough? Have you given it your all? What can you do to be a better Christian? Personally, I know that I can continue to work on my faith and yes, even my unbelief sometimes.  I can work on trusting the perfection of God’s plan, especially in those dark moments. The moments when it appears that something wasn’t supposed to happen.  That’s where my work is.  How about you? 

Wishing you a Happy Easter filled with love and continued blessings. 

 Anonymous