Fear & Faith

JN 20: 19-31

Sunday Gospel 4.19.20

While praying over this Gospel, a familiar lyric from John Michael Talbot’s song “Come Back to Me” arose in my heart.  The song begins with “Come back to me with all your heart, don’t let fear keep us apart.”  (Joel 2: 12-13) On a fundamental level, fear is a normal reaction that manifests itself when an individual is facing a known or unknown threat.  It belongs to a repertoire of many other feelings we possess.  Ironically, it can also serve us in our everyday survival.  As I walk my journey, it has become more evident to me that fear is a tool used by Satan to compromise our relationship with God.  If left unchecked, it can paralyze and prevent us from moving closer to the Lord.

In this Gospel, the “soon-to-be” apostles waited anxiously in the locked, upper room.  Try to imagine their dilemma.  Their brother Jesus had been brutally murdered & taken from them.  Strangers who recently welcomed them are now on the hunt.  If I sat with them, I also would have been filled with dread, fearing for my life & possibly second-guessing my faith.  Can you recall a time during your life when fear incapacitated you?  The experience of intense fear can easily imprison us & stop us in our tracks.  We all are experiencing some degree of fear currently.   

Some thirty-five years ago, I found myself engulfed by the same fear that the disciples had faced.  Undoubtedly, it was due to choices I made; choices that could have had dire consequences.  It was during this period that God made His move.  He masterfully orchestrated a personal conversion of my heart that included a “locked room” that I foolishly trusted.  I was not prepared for this; nor did I see it coming.  The fear I am describing was pointedly, instrumental in this part of my journey.  As mentioned earlier in this reflection, it was part of my survival story & it ushered me into a new life.  Much like the disciples in hiding, I experienced the risen Lord manifesting Himself through a wall of shame, dread & uncertainty that I had built.  I too, heard him say to me then “Peace be with you.”  Since then nothing has been the same.  God does not ask about our ability or inability; simply, our availability!  See you on the road. The Pilgrim.